"They would not want me to mourn"

 An incomplete thought to refine anon....

"they would not want me to mourn"

Follow me for a minute. I've always found this to be a shallow idea. YES they do want you to mourn - because mourning is part of healing. Mourning is the dark side of celebration. Through it, you find the motivation, the raw need, to tell the stories and carry forth the good things they did. It's like channeling anger. When we say loved ones would not want us to mourn, we are implying that they were selfless, generous, self-deprecating - valuing our happiness so so much. "I'm not worth it, hon. Go on and live your life."

But mourning is not for them - it's for us. It is one mechanism, whereby we grow around the pain of loss; sort of an emotional scab (scabs are amazing and honorable, BTW) 

Can it go too far? Yes. Like anything, the poison is in the dosage. And you do not mourn in a vacuum - all sorts of other Life Things (TM) keep going on around you. It can get complicated and messy. Thjose Things are often the real culprit fore when a grieving journey goes awry. But it remains a cathartic process.

So here you are, my friend, doing some mourning...and telling me why. 

Through it you remind me and others of these good souls whom you have known and loved. You have honored them and enlightened us. I am grateful for that.

Hail the travelers.
Hail the mourners and tellers of tales

 


 

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